The post before this is of photos only because I had very much difficulty putting the photos where I wanted them to be, accidentally deleting them several times. Even when I thought all was in the correct position, I found that they are slightly off after i publish the post. Well, at least the photos are there. These are the photos that I have filed on the computer. You may have figured out that I don't always go at my projects with enthusiasm, otherwise, I would have scanned several more to share, but then, I have very few of her in childhood, a sore subject I will not go into.
On to my memories of Daryl.
Amazingly, my at the time significant other, Randy, was very tolerable of Daryl and her son Brendan. Randy had been my husband in my earlier life, but that again is another story. He and Daryl had not been the best of friends. I think that he did not mind her at this time due to that she had such a childlike mind, and he could "pull the wool" over her eyes quite easily.
We had to have a routine, and Daryl was not happy with it. She had to keep active to help to improve her memory. She had a medication that she had to take every six hours, and not miss, because it kept the pressure in her brain low. She had to take it for a month or so after the surgery, or the pressure would increase, possibly causing further brain damage.
As I said earlier, Daryl had a child like mind. She could not remember most of her life. You would tell her something she had done, good or bad, and her response was always in a confused "I did that?" She argued that she didn't do drugs. Then when she accepted the fact that she did do drugs, she would say, "well, I didn't do that many."
She would get a kick out of when I would tell her some of our childhood stories. It really tickeled her that she used to beat the crap out of me. Every time after hearing a story where she had been mean or cruel, she would say in the sweetest voice, "but I am nice now, ain't I?"
We made arrangements for home therapy to help strengthen her now weakend right side. Speech therapy was to help her with her memory. She would not remember what some things were called, such as a fork. She would try to say it, then would have to ask me, "Tom, what is this?" It would usually take several repetitions for her to learn what an item was. Occupational therapy made attempts for Daryl to use the computer, as that is what she did at her employment before the aneurysm, but Daryl would not have anything to do with it. They instructed her to lift cans to strengthen her arm. Her response would be, "I don't have to do that, I am fine." That was her response to anything that she didn't want to do.
When I had to return to work, the home health aide that I had set up to come care for her while I worked fell through. Randy was working himself, and I had no one else who could stay with Daryl while I worked. She could not be alone for that length of time. She could not cook for herself, or her son. She would forget she had lit a cigarette and go to another room and light another cigarette. She would forget to take her medication.
So I gave in and called Ramona. She had said that her sons girlfriend would come and stay with us so that I would not have to worry. Ramona's son and his girlfriend came. I found out that when this girl was supposed to be "watching" Daryl, she was upstairs running the airconditioner and sleeping all day. Ramona's son would be on the phone all day, eating me out of house and home, or causing commotion with my younger son.
Soon Daryl wanted money. She told me that I was getting her paychecks. She got agitated when I bought her generic cigarettes instead of Marlboros. She began arguing with me about how I only wanted her to stay with me so that I could keep her money. She would not listen to the fact that there was no money yet. Some of her co-workers had given her money as gifts when she first became ill, but that money had been used for her son before she even left the hospital. I had opened a bank account and deposited any money I received for her into it. She did not believe that I was paying for her cigarettes and medicines. David had paid for storage on her belongings.
Then she got into a fight with my son Curtis. Then Ramona's son started trouble. Then I realized what had happened. Ramona's son had been talking to her on a daily basis. Many times a day. Ramona had probably been talking to Daryl too. Filling her head full of lies. Making her believe that I was stealing from her and that I wanted custody of her son. Even when Daryl's disability checks started coming in, they were not enough to pay off her debts, let alone leave anything for me to steal.
Luckily, I kept records of what I spent any of her money on, and when Ramona filed for my guardianship to be ended, which was near end anyways, I handed all records over to Daryl's court appointed attorney. He had been appointed when I went to court the first time to obtain guardianship, while Daryl was laying in the hospital in a coma.
What little bit of money that Daryl had left had to be paid to that attorney, because Ramona wanted early dismissal of my guardianship. If Ramona had waited only two more weeks, there would have been four hundred dollars more for Daryl. It does not seem like much, but when you have nothing, four hundred is alot.
When Ramona filled Daryl's head full of falsities, Daryl began arguing with me. She had an arguement with Curtis earlier and he pushed her away. She wanted the police called and have him arrested. Ramona's son kept yelling that Curtis could have killed Daryl, and Daryl picked up on that. It was chaos in the house that night. I fought to take care of my sister, but I finally had to tell her to leave because it was a situation I could not win. Because I had to work full time, I could not be at home to protect Daryl from Ramona's lies.
What Daryl did not know, was Ramona wanted Daryl to live with her so that Ramona could steal her money.
When Daryl went to live with Ramona, all therapies and doctors visits stopped. Ramona would have Daryl call frequently for money that was still not coming in. Though I had applied for disablity, retirement insurance and whatever I could apply for to assist her financially, it took months for anything to start coming in. Ramona truly thought I was collecting Daryl's paycheck and squandering it away. Ramona also thought that there would be much more coming in than what finally did begin coming.
After Daryl left, I did make arrangements for any payments to go directly to Daryl at her new address. Though she did have somewhat of a mental handicap at this time, it did not take her long to figure out that Ramona was trying to take all her money. When Daryl received a check, Ramona would ask to borrow money that she never repaid. Or, she would ask Daryl to buy groceries. Later she would tell Daryl she had to pay bills.
Daryl called me one day to tell me of what Ramona was doing. Then she said, I am moving back to Springfield. Daryl had secretly made arrangements with one of her previous friends, to rent a house and even set a date she would be there. I do not know how she got Ramona to return her to Springfield, but soon Daryl and her son were taken to live with Daryl's friend.
Now, Daryl was not necessarily ready to live on her own, but I could not control what she did. The friend lived nearby, and kept an eye on Daryl for probably a year after Daryl moved back to Springfield. Daryl still had a short turn memory problem. She would call me several times and tell me that I stole her money, and I would have to go over that there was no money at first and what I did with the money that I did get for her. Then she would say to me, "Ramona wanted my money, but she didn't get it." and then there would be a little chuckle after that.
on to part four
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